I am so sick of drama. Its not even funny. Jeff has totally turned into a giant psycho ass, who thinks he knows everything. He is almost 18 years old, which means he is really at the maturity level I was at when I was what, 14/15? He thinks if someone calls him stupid he has the total right to kick their ass. As in jumping on their head on a curb and breaking their jaw/nose/ribs. I am complete opposite of that. Communication solves everything. Not violence. Hitting someone because of an insult is totally a 10 year old thing to do. And thats not something I can change in him. Thats something he has to grow out of, and I dont think he will for a very long time. He told me thats how he was raised. If that is true, I dont know if I really like it. He is immature whether he likes it or not. And I still have feelings for Ben. My little bugsy. And he is sweeter. Mature. Amazing. I cannot believe I blew him off for Jeff. What a mistake.
I am having a lot of trouble coming up with my money for my bills. For my electric/water/sewer/trash/cox cable. I have no real job, however, I am working 4 hours a week for my godmother, Linda. Thats only $40 a week though. I am looking SO hard for a job right now. Almost every day. Fucking gay.
Need to go clean my room, will add more later.
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