Today is a slow, lazy, lonely day.
Ive been spending it mostly with Luna. I love spending time with her. :D She is so amazing. Yesterday, she turned 11 months old. Shes is almost a year! She is still in her first heat right now, it wont be over for about another 5 or 6 days. Right now, she is curled up on my bed sleeping. Cutie.
I am still stressing out about money, seeming as how I have no job yet and I have to pay $32 for my credit card and $55 to my landlord (asap). My dad wrote me a check to pay for water this month, so thats once less problem off my shoulders. I feel so bad, because I have so much going on that I need to buy for, and he has to pay for it. Ughh. I have 4 pets, and I have to buy food, wet food, litter, rawhides, treats, etc. Then to clean up after them I constantly need trash bags, swiffer dusters, swiffer wetjet pads, paper towels, clorox wipes, puppy bath wipes, etc. All of this adds up real quick. On top of this, my mother isnt helping me with food, so I have to buy all my food with my card too. It sucks.
I had a 2nd interview the other day, well, technically, a "working" interview. I thought it went well, and the lady told me she would call me on TUESDAY. Then she talked about hours. I was like omgg...does that mean I got it? Hopefully she can call me on Tuesday and tell me I start on Wednesday :) I would be so happy. I really need a job. And I would really loveee working with pets :)
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Mister Fucking Brown.
Alright so, I am pretty much at the edge of the cliff about to jump. If you get what I am saying.
I break up with him twice and feel bad because he says he as apparently changed, so I give him a second chance. Like I always do. Because I am a fucking idiot. So I he automatically assumes were boyfriend and girlfriend again, but I explain to him that I want to wait to see if he really has changed. I also have a crush on someone else and I want to see which one will work out better in the end, so I decided to stay single for a little while. So when I explain this to him he gets all sad, but tells me he wont let me down.
So far, he has pissed me off for the following reasons:
1. Making fun of one of my close friends because he thinks shes ugly. (I told him to stop but he kept going on and on and on about how high her cheekbones were, and when I told him she was my friend, he started talking even louder).
2. He has ignored me all day today (and Ive been having a bad day) and when I asked my best friend what he was doing (they live next to each other) he tells me that Jeff is outside SMOKING. On a break. Still not talking to me. And then he just texted me and I have been upset all day waiting and waiting and waiting for him to talk to me, and he assumes I am mad because of him, and like turns into a total sick. Go fucking figure, he hasnt changed.
3. He came over to my house last night to spend some time with me and spent a half an hour on the porch talking to his brother about a stupid fucking buisness they want to open. I tried telling him it bothered me and to get off the phone, but he didnt listen and completely ignored me.
4. After he got off the phone, he came back into my room, only to TEXT his brother every MINUTE until I got pissed and decided to leave his house around midnight. (He wanted to go back to his place for awhile).
5. He promised he would spend the night and he didnt.
6. He lied to me about what he was doing today, also.
Thats just a few examples, point is, I am really unsure if I want to go out with him. Make him my boyfriend again.
He has gotten into HUGE arguements with my friends, he told me he wanted to smash one of my friends heads in and break his jaw, he constantly tells me how much he hates my animals, he lives like a fucking pig, he treats me like shit more than half the time (and the other half I dont know if he is just faking it), I have lost ALL interest in moving in with him, etc. And the worst part is, I have his name tattooed on me. 1, I regret it. 2, he doesnt appriciate it. I know I have Richtors name on me too, but at least he appriciated it, and he taught me a lot about life. He wasnt a complete asshole at the time.
I dont know what else to say, Im crying, hurt, and upset.
I will write more later, maybe.
Happy Friday the 13th.
I break up with him twice and feel bad because he says he as apparently changed, so I give him a second chance. Like I always do. Because I am a fucking idiot. So I he automatically assumes were boyfriend and girlfriend again, but I explain to him that I want to wait to see if he really has changed. I also have a crush on someone else and I want to see which one will work out better in the end, so I decided to stay single for a little while. So when I explain this to him he gets all sad, but tells me he wont let me down.
So far, he has pissed me off for the following reasons:
1. Making fun of one of my close friends because he thinks shes ugly. (I told him to stop but he kept going on and on and on about how high her cheekbones were, and when I told him she was my friend, he started talking even louder).
2. He has ignored me all day today (and Ive been having a bad day) and when I asked my best friend what he was doing (they live next to each other) he tells me that Jeff is outside SMOKING. On a break. Still not talking to me. And then he just texted me and I have been upset all day waiting and waiting and waiting for him to talk to me, and he assumes I am mad because of him, and like turns into a total sick. Go fucking figure, he hasnt changed.
3. He came over to my house last night to spend some time with me and spent a half an hour on the porch talking to his brother about a stupid fucking buisness they want to open. I tried telling him it bothered me and to get off the phone, but he didnt listen and completely ignored me.
4. After he got off the phone, he came back into my room, only to TEXT his brother every MINUTE until I got pissed and decided to leave his house around midnight. (He wanted to go back to his place for awhile).
5. He promised he would spend the night and he didnt.
6. He lied to me about what he was doing today, also.
Thats just a few examples, point is, I am really unsure if I want to go out with him. Make him my boyfriend again.
He has gotten into HUGE arguements with my friends, he told me he wanted to smash one of my friends heads in and break his jaw, he constantly tells me how much he hates my animals, he lives like a fucking pig, he treats me like shit more than half the time (and the other half I dont know if he is just faking it), I have lost ALL interest in moving in with him, etc. And the worst part is, I have his name tattooed on me. 1, I regret it. 2, he doesnt appriciate it. I know I have Richtors name on me too, but at least he appriciated it, and he taught me a lot about life. He wasnt a complete asshole at the time.
I dont know what else to say, Im crying, hurt, and upset.
I will write more later, maybe.
Happy Friday the 13th.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Bills Suck Cox
I am so sick of drama. Its not even funny. Jeff has totally turned into a giant psycho ass, who thinks he knows everything. He is almost 18 years old, which means he is really at the maturity level I was at when I was what, 14/15? He thinks if someone calls him stupid he has the total right to kick their ass. As in jumping on their head on a curb and breaking their jaw/nose/ribs. I am complete opposite of that. Communication solves everything. Not violence. Hitting someone because of an insult is totally a 10 year old thing to do. And thats not something I can change in him. Thats something he has to grow out of, and I dont think he will for a very long time. He told me thats how he was raised. If that is true, I dont know if I really like it. He is immature whether he likes it or not. And I still have feelings for Ben. My little bugsy. And he is sweeter. Mature. Amazing. I cannot believe I blew him off for Jeff. What a mistake.
I am having a lot of trouble coming up with my money for my bills. For my electric/water/sewer/trash/cox cable. I have no real job, however, I am working 4 hours a week for my godmother, Linda. Thats only $40 a week though. I am looking SO hard for a job right now. Almost every day. Fucking gay.
Need to go clean my room, will add more later.
I am having a lot of trouble coming up with my money for my bills. For my electric/water/sewer/trash/cox cable. I have no real job, however, I am working 4 hours a week for my godmother, Linda. Thats only $40 a week though. I am looking SO hard for a job right now. Almost every day. Fucking gay.
Need to go clean my room, will add more later.
Monday, November 02, 2009
Bella Is Gone
I found a new home for my German Shepherd / Husky Mix, Bella. I had her for almost a year, and she was pretty much not trainable. Perfectly mannered, but not trainable. My roommates had a Halloween party the other night, on Halloween night, and she pooped on the floor of my bedroom. Then I came back in, and she peed on my bed. Like a fucking RIVER. I couldnt believe it. She had been let out 30min beforehand. Horrible. That was the cherry on the bella-is-acting-horrible sundae that made me want to have her go. I think she deserves someone who will take her for walks religiously everyday and someone who will groom her more often anyway. I tend to take me attention to Luna, my puppy.
Anyway. More problems with Jeffrey. Lovely. I hate angry people. I cant wait to start school so I have something else to worry about. And concentrate on. And DO. God. Fuck. Im going crazy without school OR a job. I WISH I HAD BOTH!
Anyway. More problems with Jeffrey. Lovely. I hate angry people. I cant wait to start school so I have something else to worry about. And concentrate on. And DO. God. Fuck. Im going crazy without school OR a job. I WISH I HAD BOTH!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Haunting Me
Okay so, I woke up this morning and was going to do my normal ritual of wake up, get energy drink, check texts/email/myspace, when I came across an interesting e-mail from my dad. It was a forwarded message from my old landlord from Spokane, Washington. He is a slum lord. He is a horrible person. This old house I was staying in for a few months when I was up there, was built in 1902. It had old carpet, scratched old floors, etc. Now I moved out, and that landlord is trying to fucking get all my family money because apparently I caused all this damage. He wants like almost $4,000. I think this is stupid. I am very pissed. He said that the smell of my dogs poop was absorbed into the basement CEMENT. Someone please tell me if its possible or not for cement to absorb odors. I think thats bullshit. On top of all this, there was mold down there too. Anyway, my dad and I are probably going to have to take this to court, in which case, I would have to go. I guess. I dont know what to do, im freaking out, starting school soon, I feel horrible because my dad has to go through all of this, and its just stupid. I want it to be over. Its almost November and I moved out of there in SEPTEMBER. Before my birthday! I hate him.
Cristina, my old roommate, fucked me over bigtime. She owes my dad over 2,500 bucks, and she changed her phone number and e-mail so we cant get ahold of her. She is the biggest bitch I know. She never paid rent while I was there, she never helped pay for any of the ultilities, she always ate my food. She used to be my best friend, now she is on my A list of revenge. Seriously. I want to take her down. Shes such a bitch. Shes also dating a sex offender (still). Little does she know, my new boyfriends brother still lives up in Spokane. We plan on having him (if he can) personally delievering a Demand Notice for her to pay my dad back, or he will take her to court and settle it in Small Claims Court. That way we can take Mr. Slumlord to court as well, and hopefully pay with Cristinas money. Yep. Life is great. Fucking AWESOME.
Im starting school on November 30th and I am kind of scared. I dont know how its gonna go and I dont know what to do. EEeekk. I hope I pass it okay. I have to take out 4 ear piercings and my nose ring (and put in a retainer on that one) and my tongue (if I cant hide it) to go to school. I also HAVE to wear long sleeves so that I can cover up all of my damn tattoos. That might be a pain in the ass, but hopefully not.
I might be getting this Nanny job, interview tomorrow. Cover up tattoos and piercings for that too, apparently. I dont think they will hire me. I keep doubting myself. I guess thats because my life is going into the shithole lately. I am starting to regret shit that I have done in my past. And my policy is NO REGRETS. But my life would of been so much better if I hadnt of moved to Spokane. I would have a job, I would be in school, I would living in Santee with my friends. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING. I am never doing anything that special for a fucking male ever again. For fucks sake.
I am trying to plan this trip to Knotts Scary Farm. With my close friends. Hopefully it will happen. However, im pretty broke. I just got my credit card back, but I am on my last leg with that, so I dont want to push it.
Cristina, my old roommate, fucked me over bigtime. She owes my dad over 2,500 bucks, and she changed her phone number and e-mail so we cant get ahold of her. She is the biggest bitch I know. She never paid rent while I was there, she never helped pay for any of the ultilities, she always ate my food. She used to be my best friend, now she is on my A list of revenge. Seriously. I want to take her down. Shes such a bitch. Shes also dating a sex offender (still). Little does she know, my new boyfriends brother still lives up in Spokane. We plan on having him (if he can) personally delievering a Demand Notice for her to pay my dad back, or he will take her to court and settle it in Small Claims Court. That way we can take Mr. Slumlord to court as well, and hopefully pay with Cristinas money. Yep. Life is great. Fucking AWESOME.
Im starting school on November 30th and I am kind of scared. I dont know how its gonna go and I dont know what to do. EEeekk. I hope I pass it okay. I have to take out 4 ear piercings and my nose ring (and put in a retainer on that one) and my tongue (if I cant hide it) to go to school. I also HAVE to wear long sleeves so that I can cover up all of my damn tattoos. That might be a pain in the ass, but hopefully not.
I might be getting this Nanny job, interview tomorrow. Cover up tattoos and piercings for that too, apparently. I dont think they will hire me. I keep doubting myself. I guess thats because my life is going into the shithole lately. I am starting to regret shit that I have done in my past. And my policy is NO REGRETS. But my life would of been so much better if I hadnt of moved to Spokane. I would have a job, I would be in school, I would living in Santee with my friends. WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING. I am never doing anything that special for a fucking male ever again. For fucks sake.
I am trying to plan this trip to Knotts Scary Farm. With my close friends. Hopefully it will happen. However, im pretty broke. I just got my credit card back, but I am on my last leg with that, so I dont want to push it.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Blood and Guts.
My new boyfriend is going to be a medic working out of a firefighter station. I am a bit scared, I have to admit, because he is one of those guys who doesnt talk really unless you are with them. He does, but its only one word answers.
Im just a bit scared because he will be working 12 hour days from 6am-730pm. When he gets off, I will be in school. I get out of school at 10, but since its in Chula Vista, I probably wont be home and ready and whatnot until about 11pm. At that time, he will want to go to sleep so he can get up at 6am. I dont know. The only time I can spend with him is during the day, which he is working. On his days off...sure...but thats like 2 a week. And what happenes when I finally get a job? I am looking for one...I need one horribly...and like...on his days off I will be working and I just dont see the time we will get to spend with one another....and I think this is going to put an extremely hard stress on our relationship, which I dont think I can handle right now. With school and money problems and all this other bullshit going on. :( I wish he hadnt of taken a stupid job like that. He is only 17.
Im just a bit scared because he will be working 12 hour days from 6am-730pm. When he gets off, I will be in school. I get out of school at 10, but since its in Chula Vista, I probably wont be home and ready and whatnot until about 11pm. At that time, he will want to go to sleep so he can get up at 6am. I dont know. The only time I can spend with him is during the day, which he is working. On his days off...sure...but thats like 2 a week. And what happenes when I finally get a job? I am looking for one...I need one horribly...and like...on his days off I will be working and I just dont see the time we will get to spend with one another....and I think this is going to put an extremely hard stress on our relationship, which I dont think I can handle right now. With school and money problems and all this other bullshit going on. :( I wish he hadnt of taken a stupid job like that. He is only 17.
Friday, October 16, 2009
New Life = More Up and Downs
Okay so I am back in San Diego, CA. La Mesa to be exact. Renting out a bedroom in a 3 bedroom 2 bathroom house. I share my bathroom with the guy named Josh, and he is cool. Except for the fact that we cant actually use the bathroom because it is clogged so I have to shower / pee at my boyfriends house. Yes, boyfriend :D I got a new one.
Living here is pretty alright, I dont like it nor do I dislike it. I wish my animals could roam about the house, but they cant, for now. I will be moving again in December or January maybe into an apartment with my boyfriend and gay friend, so that will be a lot better. I cant wait for that.
Im sick right now. My boyfriend Jeffrey got me sick. I have a runny nose, fever, cough, vomiting blood, tiredness, mucas, etc. I have that dry lung rattling cough. It sucks. And half the time the mucas gags me and then I have to vomit, and earlier, I threw up a bunch of dark blood. No wonder why my stomach has been hurting? Maybe I should go to the doctor soon. At least I dont have a headache!!!
I have to go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow to get tested, just to make sure its gone. Kyle gave me Chlamidia. Asshole. I already got treated, and it should be gone today, but my boyfriend and I want to make sure before we have sex again. Doesnt that suck? Great first impression on a new boyfriend :: Hi Sorry but I have you an STD!!! Thats my life man, thats my life. Fun shit.
Jeffrey is amazing though. He is 17, which sucks, but I dont care. Age is only a number. He is a fun, crazy, guy who knows when to be cute and cuddley. His dad is an asshole, but we are working through it. He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, and he is so protective over me. Its cute. I love him. I already got his name tattooed on me (call me stupid...but its inside a moon so I can cover it up if needed). :D He is really good at sex too for a first timer. Haha.
Living here is pretty alright, I dont like it nor do I dislike it. I wish my animals could roam about the house, but they cant, for now. I will be moving again in December or January maybe into an apartment with my boyfriend and gay friend, so that will be a lot better. I cant wait for that.
Im sick right now. My boyfriend Jeffrey got me sick. I have a runny nose, fever, cough, vomiting blood, tiredness, mucas, etc. I have that dry lung rattling cough. It sucks. And half the time the mucas gags me and then I have to vomit, and earlier, I threw up a bunch of dark blood. No wonder why my stomach has been hurting? Maybe I should go to the doctor soon. At least I dont have a headache!!!
I have to go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow to get tested, just to make sure its gone. Kyle gave me Chlamidia. Asshole. I already got treated, and it should be gone today, but my boyfriend and I want to make sure before we have sex again. Doesnt that suck? Great first impression on a new boyfriend :: Hi Sorry but I have you an STD!!! Thats my life man, thats my life. Fun shit.
Jeffrey is amazing though. He is 17, which sucks, but I dont care. Age is only a number. He is a fun, crazy, guy who knows when to be cute and cuddley. His dad is an asshole, but we are working through it. He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, and he is so protective over me. Its cute. I love him. I already got his name tattooed on me (call me stupid...but its inside a moon so I can cover it up if needed). :D He is really good at sex too for a first timer. Haha.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Up && Down && All Around
Some things are finally looking up, it looks like I might of found a place to live in. For awhile. It is not with my friends, but it is a room, which allows me to have all five animals, and is only 650 a month for the master. Sucks theres no private bathroom, but whatever. This will allow me to have time to save up money, find a job, and blah blah blah. Then I can actually move out with my pets and friends, I suppose.
My lover is on and off, on and off, dont know whats going to happen with him, dont know if it is time to move on, dont know if i should wait. Maybe things will be different when I have my own place and he can come by whenever the fuck he feels like it. Hopefully no drama comes of this.
The job hunt continues. I cant wait to start school. I cant wait to find a job, because these things will keep me occupied, hopefully enough to ignore the pain of my slowly but surely breaking heart.
I am going to become a vet assistant, in about 9 months from now I will have a FT job somewhere living out my dream.
Dun dun dun. I am so confused and have mixed feelings about almost everything. Everything that can possibly be fucked up right now, is fucked up. It sucks. But I am trying not to break. I am trying my hardest to take the days as they come and live happily through them, but I am slowly falling apart. Someone needs to catch me, and I dont know if someone will.
I can only hope.
My lover is on and off, on and off, dont know whats going to happen with him, dont know if it is time to move on, dont know if i should wait. Maybe things will be different when I have my own place and he can come by whenever the fuck he feels like it. Hopefully no drama comes of this.
The job hunt continues. I cant wait to start school. I cant wait to find a job, because these things will keep me occupied, hopefully enough to ignore the pain of my slowly but surely breaking heart.
I am going to become a vet assistant, in about 9 months from now I will have a FT job somewhere living out my dream.
Dun dun dun. I am so confused and have mixed feelings about almost everything. Everything that can possibly be fucked up right now, is fucked up. It sucks. But I am trying not to break. I am trying my hardest to take the days as they come and live happily through them, but I am slowly falling apart. Someone needs to catch me, and I dont know if someone will.
I can only hope.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Always Second Best
I am losing my lover. He no longer talks to me. He is too busy. I cannot think. Slipping back down into the hole of real depression. I keep trying to figure if it is worth it, if he is worth all this pain, and I cannot figure it out. I dont know why. I dont know what to do. I dont believe he even wants to date me anymore. I need help. I need to see a psycho person....I need to get on anti depressants or something...I cant go on like this....
My best friend likes me and is chasing my tail trying to get with me, but I am definately NOT wanting that. Eww. Disgusting. Not attracted to him at all. I dont want to be with him in that way, AT ALL. And he stares at me and fucking thinks hes going to get with me. WHY? BECAUSE ERIC AND I ARENT DATING! I DONT KNOW WHY HE CANT JUST ASK ME OUT ALREADY AND !!!!
*sobs*
He doesnt want me, theres no way he wants me. He cant want me. He would talk to me if he wanted me, right?
I cant do this. I am going to go insane. I am always second best. Always. I cant do it anymore. I cant.
My best friend likes me and is chasing my tail trying to get with me, but I am definately NOT wanting that. Eww. Disgusting. Not attracted to him at all. I dont want to be with him in that way, AT ALL. And he stares at me and fucking thinks hes going to get with me. WHY? BECAUSE ERIC AND I ARENT DATING! I DONT KNOW WHY HE CANT JUST ASK ME OUT ALREADY AND !!!!
*sobs*
He doesnt want me, theres no way he wants me. He cant want me. He would talk to me if he wanted me, right?
I cant do this. I am going to go insane. I am always second best. Always. I cant do it anymore. I cant.
Monday, September 07, 2009
U-Haul U-Drive 1,500 Miles U-GoInsane
So here I am, planning my way home to San Diego. Ugh.
My lover came up to Spokane to visit me for 5 days, and I had to take him to the airport yesterday. I cried the whole way home. I didnt want to see him go. I feel so alone without him by my side. I have to plan this huge trip home, and he wont be able to help me. My best friend from San Diego (who has muscles and used to be a wrestler) is going to fly up to help me drive back down. *sigh* I have to get a 10 foot u-haul, which my cats will go in. By the way, that will cost like $900 plus gas for that gas HOG. All three of my kittens. Then my poor big dogs will be crammed in my mustang with me for two long days. This is the plan we have so far.
I will have to move into my moms place for like a week, and I dont know who is going to take care of my cats. They cannot stay at my moms place because my other dog, Bailey, does not like them, and he tore the shit out of the screens and she had to replace them. Soo...I will have to pay to have them boarded or something..
Im thinking now that I dont want to leave so soon because of my job. I love my job. And I dont want to leave the pet industry. Damnit. I dont know what to do. I am so unhappy here, just living life day by day, not feeling like I am going anywhere, etc. I need to go back to San Diego. But then I wont be in school or have a job. I need advice from someone. I need to talk to someone. F. U. C. K.
On top of all this crap, I have insomnia, and havent been sleeping well. Bella hasnt talked to me in 4 or 5 days now. I dont exist. Cant wait to get the fuck out of here. Oh geez.
My lover came up to Spokane to visit me for 5 days, and I had to take him to the airport yesterday. I cried the whole way home. I didnt want to see him go. I feel so alone without him by my side. I have to plan this huge trip home, and he wont be able to help me. My best friend from San Diego (who has muscles and used to be a wrestler) is going to fly up to help me drive back down. *sigh* I have to get a 10 foot u-haul, which my cats will go in. By the way, that will cost like $900 plus gas for that gas HOG. All three of my kittens. Then my poor big dogs will be crammed in my mustang with me for two long days. This is the plan we have so far.
I will have to move into my moms place for like a week, and I dont know who is going to take care of my cats. They cannot stay at my moms place because my other dog, Bailey, does not like them, and he tore the shit out of the screens and she had to replace them. Soo...I will have to pay to have them boarded or something..
Im thinking now that I dont want to leave so soon because of my job. I love my job. And I dont want to leave the pet industry. Damnit. I dont know what to do. I am so unhappy here, just living life day by day, not feeling like I am going anywhere, etc. I need to go back to San Diego. But then I wont be in school or have a job. I need advice from someone. I need to talk to someone. F. U. C. K.
On top of all this crap, I have insomnia, and havent been sleeping well. Bella hasnt talked to me in 4 or 5 days now. I dont exist. Cant wait to get the fuck out of here. Oh geez.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Going Home - At the end of this month?
Well it has been taken care of. I am going home. My father insists I come home for the sake of his money and for the sake of my sanity. My mother is totally against it, but that is probably because she does not want my kittens in her house. Damn mothers. Such a pain in the ass sometimes.
I wonder what Bella is going to do when she comes home from work one day and has nothing to cook with, no table to sit at, nothing to do laundry with, nothing to eat off of, etc. Everything in the house belongs to me, and so far doesnt give a shit. She hasnt talked to me in three days, and I live with her. The microwave, toaster oven, plates, cups, silverware, pots, pans, skillets, tables, end tables, chairs, fans, AC, paper towels, cleaning supplies, food, couch....are all mine. I dont think she realizes everything in the entire house belongs to me except for the things in her room. Scary. I wonder if she will decided to start paying rent after I am gone, or if she is going to get evicted. She used to be my best friend....but I am getting screwed over. I still cant believe it. Its crazy.
I am looking forward to moving back down to San Diego, because I miss all of my friends and I miss my family. But I am not looking forward to the 1,500 mile drive. Ugh. With 5 pets.
I wonder what Bella is going to do when she comes home from work one day and has nothing to cook with, no table to sit at, nothing to do laundry with, nothing to eat off of, etc. Everything in the house belongs to me, and so far doesnt give a shit. She hasnt talked to me in three days, and I live with her. The microwave, toaster oven, plates, cups, silverware, pots, pans, skillets, tables, end tables, chairs, fans, AC, paper towels, cleaning supplies, food, couch....are all mine. I dont think she realizes everything in the entire house belongs to me except for the things in her room. Scary. I wonder if she will decided to start paying rent after I am gone, or if she is going to get evicted. She used to be my best friend....but I am getting screwed over. I still cant believe it. Its crazy.
I am looking forward to moving back down to San Diego, because I miss all of my friends and I miss my family. But I am not looking forward to the 1,500 mile drive. Ugh. With 5 pets.
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Spokane to San Diego??
Spokane. Lovely, exciting, refreshing Spokane. I might leave it all behind for the sake of my sanity and return to Sunny San Diego. I do love it here, I came up here to go to college. Well, not really. My only REAL reason was to be with my ex-boyfriend Richtor, but we broke up and are no longer talking. His initials are tattooed on my leg and his name is on my forearm. Smart one, Sinful. Now I have to spend $200 covering it up. Fuck.
Anyway....I came up here for him and to go to college. Hid the "him" part form my parents. But I am up here, all alone, and wondering what to do. I am in love with someone named Eric. He lives in San Diego. We met at my old job, in a crappy bowling alley. Haha. But he is everything I want. Everything I need. He is going into the ARMY! Which is sad......he will be gone for a long time....but he will be getting a lot of money and he actually wants to support me. I want to move to San Diego to be with him. I miss him. I love him. I need to be with him.
Another major reason why I want to go to San Diego is because my current roommate, who is supposedly my best friend, still hasnt paid rent. Its September now, and she owed rent starting May 1st. Lovely. Shit ton of money, right down the drain! My dad is getting screwed over (he pays for my rent) but is also paying for hers along with a bunch of other stuff she doesnt bother to pay us back for. She is obsessed with her new boyfriend. She only works part-time and she spends all her money on haircuts, clothes, manicures, and stupid shit like that. Haha. Good roommate right? She is so obsessed with her new boyfriend that I am in Spokane, alone. I am very lonely up here. I have no friends up here and no boyfriend. My life is in San Diego. I want to be back down there.
I think I will go back down there. Summer of next year. I need about $1,600 to move. Oh wow. Better start saving. EEk!
Anyway....I came up here for him and to go to college. Hid the "him" part form my parents. But I am up here, all alone, and wondering what to do. I am in love with someone named Eric. He lives in San Diego. We met at my old job, in a crappy bowling alley. Haha. But he is everything I want. Everything I need. He is going into the ARMY! Which is sad......he will be gone for a long time....but he will be getting a lot of money and he actually wants to support me. I want to move to San Diego to be with him. I miss him. I love him. I need to be with him.
Another major reason why I want to go to San Diego is because my current roommate, who is supposedly my best friend, still hasnt paid rent. Its September now, and she owed rent starting May 1st. Lovely. Shit ton of money, right down the drain! My dad is getting screwed over (he pays for my rent) but is also paying for hers along with a bunch of other stuff she doesnt bother to pay us back for. She is obsessed with her new boyfriend. She only works part-time and she spends all her money on haircuts, clothes, manicures, and stupid shit like that. Haha. Good roommate right? She is so obsessed with her new boyfriend that I am in Spokane, alone. I am very lonely up here. I have no friends up here and no boyfriend. My life is in San Diego. I want to be back down there.
I think I will go back down there. Summer of next year. I need about $1,600 to move. Oh wow. Better start saving. EEk!
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Get to know me, before you judge me.
Okay, so, here it goes. My name is Sinful. Not really, but that is what you will know me as. Here are some random facts about me:
I live in Spokane, Washington.
I am a Pet Care Specialist.
I have the best job and the best boss in the entire world.
I dream of becoming a vet and an author.
I am an artist.
I love body art and modifications.
I have 10 tattoos and 9 piercings.
I have insomnia.
I AM DRUG FREE.
I was adopted, but I have met my biological mother.
I love her to death.
Old enough to know better, too young to care.
I am a college student.
I dont know where I am going with life yet.
I drive a 2005 Mustang with racing upgrades.
I am an extremist and an adrenaline junkie.
I love road trips.
I dont eat seafood.
My main choice in music is metal and rock.
I have laid on top of a grave.
I have shot a gun and I have pretty damn good aim.
I love to race.
I usually dress in black.
I love vampires.
I read a lot.
I have 3 kittens. Kovu, Rascal, and Nuka.
I have 2 dogs. Luna and Bella. German shepherds.
My pets mean the world to me.
My rooms always a mess. I cant keep it totally clean.
I love horror and thriller films.
My skin is really white.
I go to sleep when the sun comes up.
I like thunder and lightening storms.
I love cranberry juice.
I love chocolate soy milk.
I smoke cigarettes.
I dont drink too often, but I do.
I hate hot weather.
Red bloody meat = yummy.
I love doing my makeup. Who cares if I wear a gallon.
Beer and wine are disgusting.
I love roller coasters and theme parks.
I am very defensive of my friends.
When I am upsset, I like to go for a drive.
I cant stand liars or fakes.
People always judge me before they know me.
I have mild OCD.
I like creepy old houses.
And graveyards.
Yes, I am a female who drives a loud muscle car. Get over it.
"The Tattoo is the Mark of the Soul.
It can act as a window
Through which we can see inside,
Or it can be a shield to protect us from those
Who cannot see past the surface."
Alright well, there's me. A bit more in detail, I live with my best friend/roommate Bella. She is alright sometimes, but lately it is not going well. Not paying rent, not helping with household items. She recently got this new boyfriend, who is obviously too good to be true, and she is totally attached to him. I do not exist anymore. Which sucks, because I just moved up north from San Diego, and I dont really know anybody. So I spend a lot of time in my room reading, writing, and looking for a second job to keep myself occupied. This guy is totally crazy though......and she let him spend the night at our house without asking me 9 hours after she MET him. They slept in the same bed. Lovely, eh? Very trustworthy roommate. Damnit. Makes me wonder what I should do about it.
My lover is entering the ARMY in December. Dont know how I am going to handle that. Gonna go for now. See yah.
I live in Spokane, Washington.
I am a Pet Care Specialist.
I have the best job and the best boss in the entire world.
I dream of becoming a vet and an author.
I am an artist.
I love body art and modifications.
I have 10 tattoos and 9 piercings.
I have insomnia.
I AM DRUG FREE.
I was adopted, but I have met my biological mother.
I love her to death.
Old enough to know better, too young to care.
I am a college student.
I dont know where I am going with life yet.
I drive a 2005 Mustang with racing upgrades.
I am an extremist and an adrenaline junkie.
I love road trips.
I dont eat seafood.
My main choice in music is metal and rock.
I have laid on top of a grave.
I have shot a gun and I have pretty damn good aim.
I love to race.
I usually dress in black.
I love vampires.
I read a lot.
I have 3 kittens. Kovu, Rascal, and Nuka.
I have 2 dogs. Luna and Bella. German shepherds.
My pets mean the world to me.
My rooms always a mess. I cant keep it totally clean.
I love horror and thriller films.
My skin is really white.
I go to sleep when the sun comes up.
I like thunder and lightening storms.
I love cranberry juice.
I love chocolate soy milk.
I smoke cigarettes.
I dont drink too often, but I do.
I hate hot weather.
Red bloody meat = yummy.
I love doing my makeup. Who cares if I wear a gallon.
Beer and wine are disgusting.
I love roller coasters and theme parks.
I am very defensive of my friends.
When I am upsset, I like to go for a drive.
I cant stand liars or fakes.
People always judge me before they know me.
I have mild OCD.
I like creepy old houses.
And graveyards.
Yes, I am a female who drives a loud muscle car. Get over it.
"The Tattoo is the Mark of the Soul.
It can act as a window
Through which we can see inside,
Or it can be a shield to protect us from those
Who cannot see past the surface."
Alright well, there's me. A bit more in detail, I live with my best friend/roommate Bella. She is alright sometimes, but lately it is not going well. Not paying rent, not helping with household items. She recently got this new boyfriend, who is obviously too good to be true, and she is totally attached to him. I do not exist anymore. Which sucks, because I just moved up north from San Diego, and I dont really know anybody. So I spend a lot of time in my room reading, writing, and looking for a second job to keep myself occupied. This guy is totally crazy though......and she let him spend the night at our house without asking me 9 hours after she MET him. They slept in the same bed. Lovely, eh? Very trustworthy roommate. Damnit. Makes me wonder what I should do about it.
My lover is entering the ARMY in December. Dont know how I am going to handle that. Gonna go for now. See yah.
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